Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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