So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Randomize
