just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
