If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize