she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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