Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
My feet surprised me
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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