I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I met the friendliest cop last night
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
