OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize