google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
