I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize