But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
