Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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