I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize