I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
