im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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