you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Randomize
