Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
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