how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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