Jerry, you need to find god
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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