The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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