last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Randomize
