how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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