Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
