I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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