she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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