lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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