He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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