I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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