NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
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Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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