You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize