Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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