yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
