I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
