guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
