apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
she looked like the before picture.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Randomize
