its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
