I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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