I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
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Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
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I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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