I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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