How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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