Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Randomize
