And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
