yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
