dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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