u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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