I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
