You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
