there's paper in my vomit.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
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Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
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the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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