Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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