I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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