he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
She bit a glass in half.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
