chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
