if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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