I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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