Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Randomize
