I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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