apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
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