You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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