People with herpes should wear stickers.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize