she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
