She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
