dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Randomize
