she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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