I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
