she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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