is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
