My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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