Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
