but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
