I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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