Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
